stay positive but not toxic positive..how?

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

life full of up and down..tipula if cakap tak pernah ada problem kan..everyone ada their own problem..cuma depends on that person je macamana they handle things..

but after all, you need to concern about your mental health too right..

be positive..so that the negative part cant take over your mind and messed up everything..

but being positive doesnt means that you being toxic positive 🙅

know the differences of these two :)

to stay positive is good, really good..but while being positive thinker means that you still accept the negative part of this world..

while toxic positivity is at a stage in which you deny the negative part..

macamana tu?

contohnya macamni..as me also currently still a student, so i will give example on student side..

let say you have been in a difficult situation sebab you need to stay at home, dengan assignments banyak, online class somemore, your siblings not really helpful lagi, and you need to do chores in between class..and many more difficulties..

instead of trying to pamper yourself by saying "alaa orang lain lagi susah than this.." dan seumpamanya, try to replace it dengan "this gonna pass too..by time..insyaAllah.."

maksudnya, dont turn your back straight away from your current reality..face it, embrace, and adjust the possibilities..dont deny the negative part of life..

this thing not only applied to yourself..you can use this kind of positive thinking for others as well..

when someone come to you and burst into emotion, first thing first dont ask them to stop..instead, stay calm and wait for them to settle with their emotion..tak kisah la dia nak nangis ke, berucap panjang2 ke..jadi pendengar yang setia..sebab some people tak perlu nasihat pun from anyone..they just need some time from someone that they trust :)

and at that moment, you are the one that he/she trust..so jangan kecewakan dia :) be nice..

then later when they start to blame their situation and ask for your opinion, try to pamper them not by giving toxic positive thought..how?

 

don't say things like,

"alaa kau punya susah kira okay lagi..aku dulu lagi susah etc etc...kau kira untung la tu atleast kau................."

 

you will never pamper them..and it wont solve anything either..

instead, try to comfort them by saying,

"dunia ni ada positive and negative side..we need to look on both..and we can never deny the negative part..so, what you face currently might be the negative part..and you have the right untuk rasa apa yang kamu rasa sekarang..its hard..and if im at your place belum tentu dapat be like you are right now..you did well so far..and this thing will pass..kutip mana yang elok untuk move forward..not by sitting there and do nothing..acknowledge the hardness, and try to find the solution.."

"but how if the things not change at all even after sooo long of time?"

"it will..what did i said before about positive and negative?we have both in this world kan..so the positive one akan datang jugak nanti :) even lambat sikit pun :) take this as opportunity to grow up..mungkin your life is teaching and preparing you on how to face the future..nanti in the future you will become tougher and better person than you were yesterday siapa tahu kan..yang penting make move untuk solve and keluar from the difficulties..not just tunggu things to change.. "

be good..by not ignoring what people's feel..

be nice..by being a good listener..

but be logical too..by not denying that everything ada good and bad side..by not denying the negative feelings..by not teaching others to run from the facts..by staying with them through the hard time :)

help/ask them to seek help when they need to..bukan suruh diorang lari dari realiti..if certain problems tu perlu jumpa orang yang lagi arif, advice them to seek the help..jangan biar diorang terkial2 lari from the facts..dont sugarcoat everything..

.....

thats my 2 cents..

as this life is just like a garden..we have everything in there..the flowers that represents the happy moments..dry leaves that represents not-that-happy part..thorns of the flowers that represents the challenges we need to face, butterflies and birds that represents people around us..that will come and go as they like and we cant hold them on their feet to stay with us :) and the garden also has river..that represents ever-flow life lessons that we need everyday to keep us alive for tomorrow :)

everything is very important for us to have a beautiful life..we are the one responsible on how to decorate the garden :)

bayangkan if dunia ni full of positive or negative things je..tak balance, tak fun la life tu nanti kan..so kena ada dua2 baru balance :)

xoxo,

yanie