MBBS: entering year 4 (what to prepare)

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

long time no see..dah lama tak share something related to study in here..so today rasa macam nak share something 

for year 3, mungkin a lot of things need to be prepared sebab baru nak kenal dengan clinical years..but for year 4 actually nothing much pun..sebab mostly kita dah prepare waktu pre clinical & year 3..cuma untuk each posting tu kena prepare barang2 dia jela sesikit..

me sharing these ikut my experience - as a pandemic student..so macam a bit different from previous2 batch..

as usual, we all begin dengan theory class - online..

before kita go one by one, let me list out all the postings in year 4 (in msu)..

____________________________

year 4 ada plus minus 10 postings..

1) Elective posting

2) Community Medicine

3) Primary Care

4) Specialty posting 1 (forensic, ENT, ophthalmology)

5) Specialty posting 2 (radiology, anaest, ortho)

6) Psychiatry

sequence dia macam biasa - ikut batch..actually kalau ikutkan pengalaman seniors, the sequence untuk year 4 macam pening sikit..sebab dorg akan divide class into half, and both half akan pergi different posting..

but due to pandemic, so dorang selaraskan je semua satu batch..means everyone akan pergi ikut sequence posting yang sama..cuma giliran ke hospital je berbeza..

and another difference is, selalunya elective posting will be at the enddddd of the year..tapi for us, kitorang begin dengan elective posting..and supposedly elective posting can choose to be any posting..tapi for us cannot..memang kena buat research as elective..no choice..

back to original point, what to prepare for year 4? whitecoat memang wajib la kan..sini yanie letak barang2 basic yang perlu ada..and penting..yang nak add tu boleh add later..

1) Elective Posting (research)

- laptop with hugeee storage, big ram..sebab nanti kena pakai spss..and read lotssss of articles..so possibility untuk laptop tu hang tinggi..

- money (in case kena print questionnaire)

--> for elective posting, as kitorg kena buat research, so memang most of the time baca articles, do discussions and do research jela..pernah hadap research before this pun still sakit kepala jugak nak hadap once again..eheh

--> stress level: ****

2)Community Medicine

- sama jugak dengan elective posting..sebab commed ni pun buat research jugak..penat dia jela yang different pun..

- stress level: ***

3)Primary Care

- stethoscope (tak perlu beli baru, pakai yang dah ada je..tapi kena ada sendiri punya la senang)

- BP set (sebab nanti if pergi ward better bawak sendiri..beli yang aneroid je..kat kamal bookstore baru RM80 one set)

- pentorch (ni pun actually semua orang supposedly dah ada)

- stress level: ***

4)Specialty Posting 1

-->ENT

- metal tongue depressor (rm10)

- thudicum nasal speculum (rm20)

- otoscope (rm200-rm500)

**BUT dont worry, if tak mampu, otoscope tu tak perlu beli lagi pun takpe..cuma if mampu boleh beli siap2..

-->Ophthal

- ophthalmoscope (rm200-rm500)

- pentorch

- neurokit (if nak beli baru - rm8-rm16)

-->Forensic

- kecekalan :D basically untuk forensic no need to prepare any apparatus pun..cuma kena kental sikit sebab nanti nak kena stay kat bilik mayat for atleast a day long untuk buat autopsy..kena prepare mental for the bau..

overall stress level: ***

5)Specialty Posting 2

-->Radiology

- no need to prepare apa2 sangat..just prepare diri je..sebab nanti film tu Dr yang tunjuk..

- buku? takde apa sangat jugak..pakai slides Dr, dengar lecture dah enough actually

-->Anaest

- pun takde apa2 sangat to prepare..just stetoscope jela..tu pun tak pakai sangat..later kat hospital pun kita masuk OT pakai scrubs, bawak logbook je..

- scrubs tak perlu sendiri punya - nanti pakai yang kat hospital :)

-->Ortho

- neurokit

- tendon hammer

overall stress level: ***

6)Psychiatry Posting

- lagi takde apa2 to prepare..kena prepare mental jela kot extra sikit 🥰

- psychiatry actually fun untuk those yang minat..

stress level: **

__________

if ada anything yanie boleh tambah later yanie tambah..if anyone ada soalan sila2 la comment kat bawah..insyaAllah yanie reply :)

xoxo,

yanie

clinical weeks in klinik kesihatan (KK)

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

after 2 years of pandemic, then in the early 2022 kitorang berkesempatan untuk pergi klinik kesihatan for our primary care posting..that was the first clinical exposure for our mbbs journey..

KK mana?

- tak boleh reveal kot (i choose not to..yang mana tahu tu tahu la..hee)

how many weeks?

- 4weeks in total..tapi takdela fully 24/7..as we kena gilir2 (sebab they only allowed 20 students only in a day - and perlu divide into small2 group for each department somemore)

sepanjang clinical weeks tu okay la, not really smooth tapi alhamdulillah, manageable..

what to do in KK?

- penuhkan logbookk! hee.. di samping timba ilmu banyak2..

how to survive?

- macam biasa, ikut surviving skills masing2..but insyaAllah everything gonna be okay ajaa..

- awal2 ofcourse rasa macam semua serba baru, semua serba tak terkejar..but after day 1 tu insyaAllah dah boleh keep up dah..

cuma SOP memang kena jaga la kan..kita tengah peralihan ke endemik, bukan endemik lagi..so precaution tu kena sentiasa ada..

how the 'pandemic procedure'?

- kena pakai mask, face shield (wajib)

- PPE ikut department assigned

basically sama je rasanya dengan sebelum pandemik..just extra precaution jela..dari segi jumpa patient semua tu sama je..do history taking, clerk cases etc..

jangan lupa cari case for CWU too <3

Drs garang tak?senang bagi cop tak?

- soalan ni banyak jugak yang tanya..for me, Drs smua okay je..and ada few yang baikkkkkkk sangat..siap ajar satu2, bg cop etc..moga Allah murahkan lagi rezeki Drs yang baik2 tu..

tips?

- untuk clerking, datang awal, clerk sebanyak case yang mampu..kt area OPD memang everyday ramai..clerk ramai2 tak rugi pun..atleast waktu CP takdela gelabah if Dr tiba2 mintak extra case to be presented :)

- untuk CWU, cari potential pt, follow sampai habis (ambik ubat)

- untuk procedures, tagging je dengan nurses/ Drs/ MAs..

**macam biasa, if ada nak tanya anything just drop comment kat bawah :) yang tak berkait dengan mbbs pun boleh je nak tanya..if yanie tahu yanie jawab..me hari2 bukak blog ni insyaAllah..update je kadang2..ikut free time..hee

xoxo,

yanie

assesment in pandemic

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

as what i ever posted last time in my entry about life as clinical year medstudent, we began our clinical year in pandemic year..so everything was began online..hari2 tengok muka Dr through zoom je :D

but by early march we already allowed to come back to the campus..only few batch were allowed..to cut story short, we have assesmeny after 2weeks of ftf clinical classes..

basically these assesment was done to see how effective the classes were as well as a part of our carry marks..quite penting jugak la..sebab we need these to proceed to next year..

how was it conducted?

all 4 postings were done in a day..beginning at 8am till 6pm with 2hours gap in between for solat zohor :)

overall okay je actually..cuma sebab we all only just 2weeks je baru settle clinical classes so dia macam nervous extra a bit..padahal takde pape sangat pun :D

all 4 postings has their own rules..so depends luck jugak :D

tapi tbh, i like this style of assesment..takdela too high pressure to handle..tapi still la - need to do lot more study ❤

xoxo,

yanie

entering year 3 mbbs - what to prepare?

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

today my class habis awal..so sempatla jenguk blog kejap :D

 

 

few juniors tanya - bila masuk year 3, beza sangat ke dengan year 1,2?

a bit different kot i can say..tapi sebab kami punya year 3 begin with online class so takde apa sangat pun..

what to prepare before masuk year 3?

1) mindset 

- ubah mindset from preclinical to clinical :)

- in clinical year, just ada rotation je..but still lagi carry that 'fireworks' a bit..

- each rotation/posting, dah takde specific subject macam preclinical..now its time to apply..so in each rotation, u will be exposed to each diseases in detail..lagi fun la kot :D

 

2)ada berapa rotation?rotation apa?macamana?

- total for year 3 ada 4 rotations

- Surgery, Paediatrics, Internal Medicine, O&G

- rotation tu depends on faculty..nanti dah divide group etc nanti dapat la rotation masuk posting mana dulu smuatu :)

3) what to buy? ***most popular question ever**

- soalan ni ramai jugak tanya..actually first thing yang perlu ada is stethoscope and tendon hammer je - which we all already have since year one kan :) if not yet, boleh beli dua ni :)

- other things akan menyusul after dah masuk posting tu..tak perlu beli awal2 unless duit kepok2 tak tahu nak beli apa dah :D

 

 sini yanie list out things yang yanie beli for clinical years utk awal2..beli sikit2 slow2 pun takpe..tak perlu all at the same time :)

-->stethoscope (pakai yang beli from bms lagi je)

-->tendon hammer (also from bms years)

-->pentorch (ni pun sama from bms)

-->oxymeter

-->paeds kit (buat sndiri - ambik anakfrut punya)

-->tuning fork

-->pinard

-->neurokit

-->sphygmomanometer

-->suture kit

 

- but again, the main one is stethoscope & tendon hammer tu je..paeds kit prepare yang basic2 pn dah okay.. suture kit not really guna pun..tapi saja je beli sebab nak practice suture kat rumah..that one more to final year i think..

 

- and if kamu ada housemate yang ambik medic jugak, berbaik la dengan beliau..so that takdela all thingss kena beli..boleh pinjam certain2 things..

4) how about buku?

- TBH, yanie beli mostly buku2 untuk study/memorize easily je..macam short notes..not textbooks..

- for textbooks yanie pakai pdf version je..tak mampu nak beli each posting banyak2 buku..

- for me, list buku yang yanie beli:

 

-->Doctrina Perpetua (for 3 postings - surgery, paeds, obgyn)

-->Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine (IM)

- but again, those books don't treat them as textbooks..untuk mudah faham/hafal boleh la baca..but for further explanation etc still kena buka textbooks..

- other than that mostly yanie buat notes sendiri je..

 

- list textbooks yang yanie pakai:

 

-->Surgery<--

*Bailey & Love's Short Practice of Surgery

*Browse's Introduction to Symptoms & Signs of Surgical Diseases

*Compact Clinical Guide to Critical Care, Trauma, and Emergency Pain Management

-->Paediatrics<--

*Nelson Textbook of Paediatrics

*Illustrated Textbook of Paediatrics (Sunflower)

*Paediatric ECG Survival Guide

*Malaysian Paediatric Protocol

-->Internal Medicine<--

*Davidson's Principles & Practice of Medicine

*Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine

*Making Sense of ECG

*ECG Interpretation Made Incredibly Easy

-->OBGYN<--

*O&G by Ten Teachers (favorite most Drs)

*DC Dutta (tapi this one buku lama..some Drs tak suka)

*O&G Today

*Williams Obstetrics

*Dewhurst's Textbook of O&G

buku2 tu berguna untuk seminar mostly..sebab if nak pakai for study tu macam all the time nak bukak tu susah jugak..untuk fahamkan mungkin ya..but not all the time..by time nanti jarang2 je bukak buku2 tu..better buat notes sendiri la..

setakat tu je kot dulu yanie mampu share..if anything nak tanya feel free to comment kat bawah :)

xoxo,

yanie

negative marking in exam

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

-gambar: google-

ada few students that asked me - 

1. akak, negative marking tu macamana?

2. effect dia banyak tak nanti?

3. why ada negative marking?

4. sebab tu ke orang takut nak ambik medic?

 

so, first thing first, negative marking ni wujud bukan kat semua tempat in medical examination.. dia ada kat satu section je which is True/False section..

1) negative marking tu macamana?

--> negative marking tu berlaku bila:

- jawab dan betul (1markah)

- tak jawab langsung (0markah)

- jawab tapi salah (-0.5markah)

contohnya, dalam satu soalan True/False tu, akan ada 5statements (a,b,c,d,e)..

so, u kena jawab all questions tu (nyatakan statement tu true/false)..

let say u jawab 3, tak jawab 2..tapi dari 3soalan yang u jawab tu only  2 yang betul..so, marks will be 3 - 0.5 = 2.5 :)

-->so better jawab or not?

- this one u need to ask urself :) tepuk dada, tanya iman..

- for me if that statement i hesitate either betul ke tak, tapi rasa macam true/false..so i will jawab true/false..that 'rasa' mostly correct :D

- but if that statement macam tak pernah dengar pun..memang tak pasti, so jangan jawab..

2) effect dia for the whole result banyak tak nanti?

--> TBH, tak effect banyak pun..just about 0.5-1% of the whole result je actually..

3) why ada negative marking?

-->haaa..this question me also pernah tanya waktu awal masuk dulu..sebab rasa macam tak adil..kenapa nak kena negatif marking..tak payah bagi marks jela..sampai masuk bilik lecturer tu ha sebab nak clarify the purpose of this negative marking :p

- but actually, this negative marking sebenarnya nak train u to be a good Dr and also a safe Dr..its a good thing actually..

- sebab by doing this, they can train u to be sure about your decision..bukan main decide je walaupun benda tu tak pasti..

- they wanna train u not to use 'eh, yeke..', or 'eh tersilap decision pulak'..haaa bukan ke tak safe macamtu kan..dengar pun dah tak safe, apatah lagi in real field nanti :D

- so, indirectly this negative marking make u be more careful about your decision..mungkin dalam exam just risau hilang marks je..tapi in real life u will deal with nyawa orang..so its not gonna be that simple :)

4) sebab tu ke orang takut nak ambik medic?

--> for me, jawapannya tidak :D why?

- sebab those yang NAK ambik medic ni mostly tak tau pun ada konsep macamni dalam exam :D dah masuk nanti baru tahu :p

- unless they came from medical background family, abang kakak Drs, or they do lotss of reading before applying :D

**in a nutshell, tak perlu takut pun dengan negative marking tu..just enjoy the ride..jangan stress2 :D

xoxo, 

yanie

year 1 mbbs msu

assalamualaikum w.b.t...

now baru sempat nak update blog about year 1 :D lama betul tak update blog :D

 -Ardent Fortis-

before that, these are from my previous experience..everyone ada pengalaman masing2 :)
lets back to topic..

so, awal2 masuk we need to choose a name for our batch..and my batch end up to be named as Ardent Fortis :*

in my class total 44students..6students are internationals..1 Australian, 1 Saudi, 4 from maldives <3

a very happy go lucky batch :D i love all my classmates sebab walaupun awal masuk tu the youngest was 19years old and the eldest was 29years old, tapi kitorg macam sama umur je :D

as for those yang come from foundation/matriculation/form6, advantage untuk mereka sebenarnya i think..sebab all the basic things still lagi fresh..for us yang come from other degree previously, i think its kinda like kena tengok balik all the basics sebab dah lama tinggal..for me la..orang lain me tak tahu :D in previous degree dah focus more to diseases, management, treatments, interaction with pt etc tiba2 kena ulang balik tengok Kreb cycle :p

but takdela cakap susah sangat nak adapt..when there's a will there's a way kan..lagipun dah pernah study all those things takkan tak ingat langsung kann..

tiring?more to depends on how you manage the time..if salah manage penat sikit la kot..but don't worry, you will get the pace soon..

being year one student tak kisahla you from which education background pun, you all the same je..jangan nak rasa rendah diri or tinggi diri sangat..semua dalam perahu yang sama..so sama-sama la kayuh untuk sampai destinasi :*

waktu me in first year, suka betul join any additional workshop (mostly anatomy)..other than sebab nak cukupkan gems, it is sebab me memang suka anything related to anatomy :D

two of the best workshop that i involved was Dissecting Workshop and Brain Dissection Workshop..
- yang first tu workshop tu untuk open up cadaver's body..so they taught how to open up and asingkan each parts of human body for study purpose..waktu tu memang ada cadaver baru sampai..so we use those untuk open dari awal sampai habis..
- the 2nd one we learnt how to open skull to take the brain as specimens..

banyak actually interesting activities..antara nak dengan tidak..or ada masa or not je :)

for year 1, year 2 banyak kena lukis2..akan ada 1 logbook in which kena lukis for each module..

-one of the drawings for CVS module-

moving to most commonly asked Q,

1)silibus?

- year one ada few modules [MSU pakai system modules :)]

SEM1:

-->Fundamental

-->Musculoskeletal (MSK)

-->Hemopoietic (Hemo)

-->Cardiovascular (CVS)

-->Respiratory (Respi)

SEM2:

-->Gastrointestinal (GIT)

-->Renal

-->Reproductive

-->Neuro (CNS)

-->Endocrine

-each modules will be divided into 3 subjects..

-each subjects will containt few topics and subtopics..

2)what's the subjects?

 -in year 1 MBBS, akan ada division subject to Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry..

Anatomy - all about body parts and structures..dari sekecil2 stapes sampaila sebesar2 skin..smua kena tahu in details (but believe me xdenye nk ingat seketul2 nanti :p) 

 

Physiology - all about body's function..how urine made pn kena tahu even if we all wanna pee without knowing how its made :D

Biochemistry - all about chemical balance in the body..

-all the 3 subjects will be divided into plus minus 200 topics/subtopics..sounds je macam banyak..tapi sebenarnya memang banyak pun :'D

3)how about the classes/lab/etc?

- classes will be conducted in classroom or lecture theater (depends your batch ramai ke tak..macam batch yanie, ktorg conduct in classroom je..sbb tak ramai)

- for lab, will be conducted in different lab for different subject

- anatomy and physiology subject banyak kat dissection hall (bilik mayat)

- other than that some will be held in anatomy museum

-->how the dissection hall?

-not that scary macam yg most ppl cakap..dissection hall kt sini okay je..cuma bau formalin tu menarik sikit la for those yang tak pernah bau..

-during the sessions dalam dissection hall dont ask why tiba2 kawan sebelah menangis..tu semua sebab formalin..kena soal dengan Drs pun boleh nangis even jawapan betul :D

4)how the Drs?

- during my time Drs semua baik2! alhamdulillah..

- Drs actually sangat2 membantu..cuma kita (me actually) as student je kadang2 tak tahu how to help our own self..so Drs pn tak boleh nak help much macamtu..we dont know what we dont know :D

5)how about exams?

- in year 1, akan ada 5 exams..

 -->Progress Test 1

-->Semester 1

-->Progress Test 2

-->Semester 2

-->Professional Exam 1 (final & major one)

- each exam will be divided into few parts

- will be conducted in 2days only (except Professional Exam - 3days)

roughly,

MCQ - 60minutes

MEQ1 - 20minutes

MEQ2 - 20minutes

SEQ - 20minutes

OSCE - 1-2hours

**but for Pro Exam SEQ ada dua :)

-->OSCE?

-OSCE tu macam practical exam..or more to macam labtest i think..akan ada about 20stations..each station 3minutes given to answer for 3questions..for anatomy Drs will put specimens or organs or body parts..for physiology pun lebih kurang..or Drs just ask with diagram etc..for biochem usually diagram..sometimes Drs put reaction result n we need to interpret :)

6)orang cakap MBBS senang fail..is it?

-in here (during my time), C- dah dikira tak lepas..

-and for this one if u ask me, actually depends luck jugak la kot..eheh..why?sebab i think for example everyone dah baca all the loadsss topics..but ada satu topic yang mungkin kurang hadam..then suddenly eh yang tu yang keluar exam..and might not able to answer properly sebab nervous etc..so yeah..

-but maybe if you ask any other person jawapan mungkin jadi lain..'you medstudent kot, patutnya dah alert yang kena tahu semua benda'..'you takboleh bagi excuse macamtu..all you need to do is study'..dan sebagainyaa :) so again, depends on perspektif masing2 :)

-after all, why should worry utk benda yang tak jadi lagi kan?just focus on what you need to do which is to study hard and smart :) if things gonna happen, it will happen..but nauzubillahminalik la kan :)

-pray hard, study harder, do your very best insyaAllah He will always be there to help you :)

7)how about sports/other activities/certificate?

-as MSU students we need to fill up our gems point..gems point ni macam certificate for each activities yang kita join la..cumanya MSU make it easier..so takdela nak kena simpan satu2 sijil dalam file..everything computerized..tinggal print one paper je bila dah habis study..**you will understand better once u become msurians

-for IMS students, akan ada IMS Sports Fiesta - this one is sports competition between batch..so each batch will send wakil untuk each sports..

 

8)how to divide masa?study je ke?

- no la..mbbs student pun boleh je enjoy dengan hidup :D takdela 24/7 dengan buku..maybe 5-6hours sehari cukup je kot :) make sure study tu berkualiti :)

- kitorang pun ada je waktu2 kitorang spend time together, keluar tengok wayang, keluar tengok dunia luar, pegi get together to eratkan silaturahim between us etc..just jangan terlampau leka sampai lupa study je :D

- find your own schedule..jangan follow orang :D

9)holiday macamana? 

- cuti ada, but don't put high hope :p sebab cuti lain dari orang lain..

- cuti usually one week after semester exam, and 3weeks after Pro Exam..the real cuti is after Pro Exam..sebab waktu tu memang tak payah fikir next sem :D

***

tu jela dulu kot setakat ni..if ada anything to add nanti yanie tambah..any soalan boleh komen kat bawah :*

Tips:

1) Make sure you know what you don't know

2) Prepare at least 1 question to be asked for next class

3) Ask, ask, ask . even if rasa macam tahpape je soalan tu..kadang ramai yang taknak tanya sebab rasa macam soalan tu tahpape..padahal most of classmates pn tak tahu..ending dia smua tak tahu sebab tak berani tanya (i've feel that)

4) Put 'why' in front of anything you learnt..and make sure boleh jawab 'why' tu..

5) Don't try to memorize everything deeply..know which part you need to focus more..[remember: the deeper u go, u might be drowned :)]

xoxo,

yanie

beginning week as MSU-mbbs student

assalamualaikum w.b.t...

-Ardent Fortis + IMSA-

after enrollment, ofcourse minggu2 awal2 tu minggu orientation kan :) haa..for mbbs student in MSU (tempat lain me tak sure :D), kita ada dua orientation..satu under campus (big orientation), satu lagi under faculty..

Main Orientation

 

- untuk orientation yang main one, it will mix together all new students in MSU..yang register tarikh sama dengan kita :)

 

- this orientation either 3 days or seminggu..depends on SRC waktu tu nak buat berapa hari :D yanie punya last time tak silap 3days..

 

 

IMS-orientation

 

- untuk IMS orientation ni pulak it will be conducted by IMSA [IMS Association]

 

- this one will only involve our batch je..sebab intake mbbs msu dua kali je setahun..so either April/October intake..

 

- during IMS orientation activity similar je dengan orientation biasa..but it more to eratkan lagi bonding among IMS family..means nak suruh kenal siapa president IMSA, siapa dia punya EXCO dan sebagainya..so that nanti if there's any problem or anything to ask boleh tanya IMSA members..benda2 yg big la..untuk isu2 kecik takkan nak tanya jugak kan :D

 

- IMS orientation usually satu hari je..or satu malam je..tak lama pun :D

 

White Coat Ceremony

 

- this event more to welcoming new mbbs student to MSU..means this one under faculty jugak..

 

- during this event, TanSri, dean, and few other Profs akan join and they will pakaikan white coat to all new mbbs student..

 

- timing depends on your batch..if batch tak ramai maka kejap jela..macam batch yanie kejap je sebab kitorang ada 44students only :)

 

- but still, pakai cantik2 smart2 (formal) sebab this one event rasmi :)

 

 Oath Taking Ceremony

- later after dah habis dengan minggu orientasi, akan ada minggu Oath Taking Ceremony pulak..this one pun tak ambil masa lama..its more to tradition of MSU - new students need to join this event as to complete their family-registration as one of MSU family members..lebih kurang macamtu :D

 

- its either Oath Taking dulu or White Coat Ceremony dulu :)

 

- untuk Oath Taking Ceremony kena pakai baju batik rasmi MSU..its either given together dengan registration fees or boleh beli kat U-gift..or if taknak beli pinjam je from senior2 :D seniors selalunya bagi je..sebab sangat2 memahami :D baju tu pakai once in a lifetime sepanjang study je pun :D

- during Oath Taking Ceremony akan ada welcoming speech and nyanyian lagu rasmi MSU..tak lama pun..sehari je..tu pun campur rehearsal :D

so..empat tu antara events yang probably occur in beginning week as MSU-mbbs student :) nampak je macam banyak events..tapi actually kejap2 je pun :D

xoxo,

yanie

Why did I choose Medicine? Kenapa nak jadi Doktor?

assalamualaikum w.b.t...

 

 

ramai had been asking me this questions since I first begin my study life..dah lama nak jawab actually but I don't know where to begin my words :)

even dalam interview untuk masuk MBBS pun soalan ni the most famous one kan..siapa yang pernah pegi interview medical school pernah la rasa ditanya macamni kan :D

so...Why did I choose Medicine? Kenapa nak jadi doktor?

for me, jawapan dia not really easy..sebab it was a lifetime decision..and i'm such a long-term-thinker..even nak beli barang kat shopee pun me add to cart sampai 3months but end up tak beli jugak after list out all the pros and cons :D

the exact triggering factor tak ingat..i think sebab waktu sekolah rendah dulu pernah ada program anak angkat in which medical students from USM stay kat rumah2 kat my village..so my rumah ada 5orang anak angkat yang stay..and to listen to their story tu sangat2 la inspiring..plus there was this one abang (sekarang dah Dr la); he was a handsome guy (biasalatu adik2 tengok abang2 hensem kan :p)..and that abang was so baikkk sebab layan me yang budak2 waktu tu patiently..so mungkin tu one of the triggering factor jugak la kot :D

 

other than that rasanya its a negative triggering factor..so memory macam deleted as me try not to remember by time..but i takdela simpan dendam..just still simpan kenangan yang sometimes can naikkan semangat again bila tiba2 rasa down..i take it positively :)

 

next, i need to say that im so thankful Allah hadirkan orang yang baik2 as my friends..and ada this one friend yang dah jadi Dr awal than me, he always said - kau jangan give up..kita dah janji kan nak jd Dr sama2..cuma kau ambik pathway yang extra miles sikit dari aku..but still one day aku nak kita keje in the same profession yang kita pernah borak sebelum ni..

 

and he will always be there even me takpernah bagitau pun tengah sedih ke apa..he has a beautiful heart..selalu muncul tiba2 and help me out of my problems..

after all the bunga2 kehidupan, the exact point/reason yang buat i solid nak take medicine is bila me habis my first degree..how? sebab my internship reallyy3 do help me a lot in making this hard decision..few years me taking slow path just to ensure that my decision is not wrong and finally me get the confidence to take this journey..

apa yang membantu sangat waktu internship tu?

1) waktu awal2 masuk internship, the first thing i heard sepanjang seminggu tu - tak payah la jadi Dr dik..buat penat je..nanti kena maki, penat keje kadang2 orang tak appreciate pun..

- so me become soo curious to know why those Drs cakap macamtu..and start to find out..

- but makin cari reason tu makin me rasa nak continue..yes, kena marah, kadang2 people tak appreciate pun..but thats the bittersweet of this profession..atleast for me la..

- kepuasan bila tengok some patient mampu senyum balik kat kita n cakap thank u tu soo tak mampu nak describe..so yeah..its a satisfaction..depends on macamana u terima that thing i think..

2) i love the pressure..

 

- waktu minggu second me baru nak try join this one group of Drs untuk discuss cases..but i've been rejected sebab waktu tu consultant tak nak ada selain daripada team beliau..

- malu la jugak waktu tu..i dont know the exact reason me be rejected..but later i sat down and take it positively..and i think it still has the good side..mungkin that Dr tak nak ada interruption from other ppl selain dari her team to discuss the cases..mungkin thats how she keep the quality of her team..so its a good thing for both parties - Drs dapat bagi high quality service, pt dapat high quality treatment.. so things just passed by and esok2 tu me dah adapt with the situation..

- after i've been rejected tu my sv came and ask why me so quiet..and later he said "in life we need to try to face rejection..sbb rejection tu la yg mematangkan..and make u think even more.." and he's right :)

- and during that internship selalu je jugak kena marah even if i don't know the exact reason at first..tapi me jenis yang tak kisah kena marah and akan find out the reason to know which part i need to improve..so that i can be better me tomorrow..

 

3) i met with lotssss of helpful, kind hearted Dr..

 

- other than those negative experience, the main reason is still the positive experience..during that internship i met with my SV - DrJ.. he's so kind, so soft spoken..everytime join ward round with him mesti kagum..sebab dia cakap sangat2 lembut n respect the pt..he also very kind to me sebab selalu jawab my questions walaupun macam ridiculous and out of the box..

- he also one of those Drs yang sangat2 sabar ajar me every procedure..and everyday he will give me opportunity to try to do simple procedures and ajar satu2 steps..

- everyday he will give me questions (macam quiz) and make sure me know new things to bring back home..and gave me homework too so that he can guide me at which part i need to..

- some other Drs pun veryyy helpful and kind..sampaikan me dah tukar department pun they still treat me so well..

- thats the major point when i start to think that at least i wanna be one of them..a Dr yang membantu new generation of Drs..

- i have lotsss of sweet experience sepanjang internship thanks to them..

4) the trust & encouragements

 

- just like what i said before, there's lots of Drs that have very beautiful heart..

- everyday after ward round yang took hours, the Drs mesti akn atleast say one word to me --> jadi Dr ni susah..but dont give up tau dik..our future medical field need more people like u..(even when i dont think i do any useful thing pn that day)

- even everytime me kena marah,, akan ada those yang datang bagi semangat n support..they treat me as part of them..so i was like - i cant give up in this journey..

- and those Drs always told me - nanti dah grad come join us..be part of us..

- me pernah cakap kat those Drs (asking opinion) - im not that smart..n neither i feel that im belongs to this profession..plus i took long pathways..is it worth it?am i still deserve it? 

--> and their answer sangat2 make me sooo touched..

 

**Allah tak letakkan awak kat tempat mana awak berdiri sekarang if ini bukan tempat awak..Dia tak takdirkan anything for no reason :)

**Allah tak aturkan jalan awak macamni if bukan untuk kebaikan awak..He knows everything..

**Dia takkan jadikan awak kuat & still ada kat sini if awak tak mampu..so u deserve this..

**cepat or lambat is just a matter of time..as long as niat awak betul, insyaAllah this is the right path for u..apa salahnya long path pun..means that u double ur quality to serve others later..this journey yang awak akan rindu nanti bila awak sampai satu tahap yang kukuh :)

 

other than that, i told u i'm a long-term thinker..so to make each decision i will think about lots of things, try to imagine my future, try to picture me in 10-20 years time..and asking myself multiple times if i will ever be happy in what i choose or not..

 

thats also how i decided to not taking engineering after spm..coz at that time i try to picture myself learning the possible subjects and i cried..i dont think that will make me happy..and i picture myself learning and working in lab..and even experience research itself..and i dont think i enjoy it either..finally i picture myself to be in wards, doing some ward works and also experience it even for a short time..and i cried again..not because i dont like it..but because my heart really want it..

 

i even question myself everyday if i dare to study for long period or not..then other part of my heart ask me again - take longer journey and enjoy your job or take short journey but regret your decision later?  

 

and ofcourse i question myself everyday - mampu tak nak hadap pressure everyday and not violence other's happiness? thats the reason jugak me try to figure out the possible pressure in this profession during my internship and try to handle it..even if apa yang me lalui during those time mungkin just a tiny one compared to the pressure yang Drs and other healthcare professionals ever faced..

tipula before nak decide anything tu tak pernah rasa ragu2 walau sikit pun kan..plus as for me, its a very huge decision..bukan benda main2..this thing u will keluarkan lotssss of money..takkan nak take decision sambil lewa je kan..

before finally decided, setiap hari tanya umiabah - restu tak keputusan achik?redha tak?

- sebab on top of everything, redha my parents is everything above everything..i am nothing without them..looks like kecik je kan..but not for me :) if dorang tak redha, umpama naik kereta tanpa tayar..tak sampai destinasi nanti..and umiabah everyday akan jawab jugak my questions with the same answer sebab soalan sama :')

 

and that's how i finally decided to be in this path..

 

to choose this path based on certain2 reason, i dont think it will make me reaching my goal..

choose sebab money?

- i don't think this profession will make you rich enough kalau duit yang dikejar..

choose sebab nak tolong orang?

- how do you define 'tolong orang'? and till which level?

choose sebab title?

- kalau sebab nak title je ambik phD pun boleh dapat title Dr jugak..

choose sebab to gain respect?

- tak semestinya jadi Dr you will be respected at the highest level..me tengok the scenario during my internship pun for me this field will not jamin you will not be knocked down..

 

choose sebab nanti senang nak attend bila family sendiri sakit?

- you will never can be sure that you are the first person to be there bila your own family is the one yang need medical attention..bahkan even if you are there pun you aren't allowed to attend your own family.. 

choose wisely :) letak Dia nombor satu..insyaAllah dipermudahkan urusan untuk decide :)

but still, lain orang lain cara and opinion dia..so, you do you..to ask opinion from orang lain is okay..but in the end yang penting tanya diri sendiri..will you be happy with your decision? will your future self thank ur current self for your decision? tepuk dada, istikharah..tanya hati, tanya Dia :) jangan lupa tanya parents juga :*

p/s : to be in this path, i think if you still lagi 50-50, dont take it..take the other option..coz this path is not only for those yang genius or pandai..its for those who has passion..memang la if pandai masuk course mana2 pun boleh hidup boleh lepas..but in the end u will violence your happiness and others' too..as by choosing this path, i think you already ready to put others ahead of yourself :)

**for me no profession worth to study for few years if you not solidly happy with the course/work..choose a field that make you happy to be in it..no matter in which condition..that's why you need istikharah, you need deep 'me time' before making any decision..

**may whoever yang still thinking dipermudahkan semua urusan :)

**moga my solid decision after years of thinking make me a good and safe Dr for ummah in the future..insyaAllah..

**and i always pray that this spirit will last forever..may all the difficulties ahead only make me a tougher, better one than me yesterday..

“Katakanlah: Sesungguhnya solatku, ibadahku, hidup dan matiku hanyalah untuk Allah, Tuhan semesta alam.” (Al-An’am : 162)

xoxo,

yanie