and then came my fourth posting - surgery
by this point, dah tak boleh guna ayat,
“Saya baru lagi…”
heee
its literally already the 4th 😅
pejam celik pejam celik dahh 4th posting
after medical, O&G and paeds, i thought maybe i had finally gotten used to this whole housemanship thingy
wake up.
go to work.
get stressed.
survive.
repeat.
then surgery came along and said - cute :D
after medical, O&G and paeds, i thought maybe i had finally gotten used to this whole housemanship thingy
wake up.
go to work.
get stressed.
survive.
repeat.
then surgery came along and said - cute :D
----
welcome to surgery
surgery has its own language.
“patient dah BO?”
“dah passing flatus?”
“abdomen soft?”
“drain berapa?”
“wound okay?”
“dressing dah buat?”
“keep NBM.”
“book OT.”
“consent dah ambik?”
and of course -
“dah refer?”
:D
and suddenly, bowel opening became one of the most important questions I asked every morning.
never in my undergrad years did i imagine i would one day feel genuinely happy hearing,
"pt dah pass flatus"
alhamdulillah.
progress. :D
welcome to surgery
surgery has its own language.
“patient dah BO?”
“dah passing flatus?”
“abdomen soft?”
“drain berapa?”
“wound okay?”
“dressing dah buat?”
“keep NBM.”
“book OT.”
“consent dah ambik?”
and of course -
“dah refer?”
:D
and suddenly, bowel opening became one of the most important questions I asked every morning.
never in my undergrad years did i imagine i would one day feel genuinely happy hearing,
"pt dah pass flatus"
alhamdulillah.
progress. :D
-----
the posting where you learn to MOVE
if O&G was full of hormones, emotions and adrenaline
surgery was full of movement..
if O&G was full of hormones, emotions and adrenaline
surgery was full of movement..
ward
clinic
OT
OT
then back to ward
review patient
take blood
trace result
refer
prepare patient for OT
ehh suddenly another patient deteriorates
and somewhere in between all that -
“dik, dressing bed ** dah buat?”
sabauu :D
there was always something that needed to be done
and somehow everything needed to be done now
“dik, dressing bed ** dah buat?”
sabauu :D
there was always something that needed to be done
and somehow everything needed to be done now
surgery taught me that sometimes you don't need to feel ready
you just need to start moving
you just need to start moving
------
and then there was OT
there was something different about entering the OT
the scrubbing.
the gown.
the gloves.
the lights.
the instruments.
of course, being a HO in OT wasn't always glamorous
sometimes your very important surgical contribution was....
holding the retractor.
for a very, very long time
there was something different about entering the OT
the scrubbing.
the gown.
the gloves.
the lights.
the instruments.
of course, being a HO in OT wasn't always glamorous
sometimes your very important surgical contribution was....
holding the retractor.
for a very, very long time
your hand starts hurting
your shoulder starts hurting
you quietly change position
your shoulder starts hurting
you quietly change position
“retractorrr..pegang betul2”
sorryy Mr :D
but honestly, even that had its moment..
as somewhere between retracting, assisting, suturing and trying not to contaminate the sterile field, i realized how much i actually enjoyed being there..
surgery is more than the operation
before going through the posting, it's easy to think surgery is mostly about operating
but being there taught me that the operation is only one part of it
there's recognising the sick surgical patient.
resuscitation.
pain control.
fluids.
antibiotics.
pre-operative preparation.
post-operative monitoring.
wound care.
drains.
nutrition.
complications.
and knowing when something that looks “okay” actually isn't okay.
sometimes the most important thing wasn't knowing exactly what was happening.
it was recognising -
this patient doesn't look right.
and calling for help early.
but being there taught me that the operation is only one part of it
there's recognising the sick surgical patient.
resuscitation.
pain control.
fluids.
antibiotics.
pre-operative preparation.
post-operative monitoring.
wound care.
drains.
nutrition.
complications.
and knowing when something that looks “okay” actually isn't okay.
sometimes the most important thing wasn't knowing exactly what was happening.
it was recognising -
this patient doesn't look right.
and calling for help early.
---
The People Along the Way
just like my previous postings, the journey was made easier by the people I met
there were seniors who taught
seniors who corrected
seniors who trusted me enough to let me try
and seniors who would explain why instead of simply telling me what to do.
of course, kena marah tu,,,
standard package la kan. :D
but there were also people who made those long days feel lighter
people who helped when the ward was drowning
people who taught me little tricks that no textbook ever mentioned
people who said,
“takpe, try dulu”
just like my previous postings, the journey was made easier by the people I met
there were seniors who taught
seniors who corrected
seniors who trusted me enough to let me try
and seniors who would explain why instead of simply telling me what to do.
of course, kena marah tu,,,
standard package la kan. :D
but there were also people who made those long days feel lighter
people who helped when the ward was drowning
people who taught me little tricks that no textbook ever mentioned
people who said,
“takpe, try dulu”
"you are in correct lane"
and somehow, those simple words mattered.
somewhere along the way,,
surgery felt different to me
maybe because by fourth posting, i was no longer the same HO who first walked into medical
i had seen more.
done more.
made mistakes.
been corrected.
been shouted at.
learnt to speak up.
learnt when to ask for help.
learnt that “I don't know” is perfectly fine
as long as it's followed by,
“but i'll find out.”
and perhaps that was why i could appreciate surgery differently
there was something about the combination of thinking and doing that I liked.
somewhere along the way,,
surgery felt different to me
maybe because by fourth posting, i was no longer the same HO who first walked into medical
i had seen more.
done more.
made mistakes.
been corrected.
been shouted at.
learnt to speak up.
learnt when to ask for help.
learnt that “I don't know” is perfectly fine
as long as it's followed by,
“but i'll find out.”
and perhaps that was why i could appreciate surgery differently
there was something about the combination of thinking and doing that I liked.
you assess.
you decide.
you resuscitate.
and sometimes, you actually get to fix the problem with your hands.
there's something satisfying about that.
medical taught me how much I didn't know.
O&G taught me to function amidst hormones, emotions and adrenaline.
paediatrics taught me that tiny patients carry enormous responsibility.
And Surgery?
surgery taught me to act.
to recognise when something is wrong.
to move when something needs to be done.
to use my hands.
to trust my clinical judgement a little more.
and perhaps most importantly - to realise that somewhere between the ward rounds, emergency cases, dressings, drains, endless referrals and hours spent standing in OT,
i actually really liked surgery
it was tiring.
it was physical.
it was demanding.
some days were ridiculously long.
but there were also days when I went home exhausted and somehow thought - eh..best jugak hari ni. :D
you resuscitate.
and sometimes, you actually get to fix the problem with your hands.
there's something satisfying about that.
medical taught me how much I didn't know.
O&G taught me to function amidst hormones, emotions and adrenaline.
paediatrics taught me that tiny patients carry enormous responsibility.
And Surgery?
surgery taught me to act.
to recognise when something is wrong.
to move when something needs to be done.
to use my hands.
to trust my clinical judgement a little more.
and perhaps most importantly - to realise that somewhere between the ward rounds, emergency cases, dressings, drains, endless referrals and hours spent standing in OT,
i actually really liked surgery
it was tiring.
it was physical.
it was demanding.
some days were ridiculously long.
but there were also days when I went home exhausted and somehow thought - eh..best jugak hari ni. :D
maybe that's when you know a posting has found a little corner in your heart.
not because it was easy.
but because even when it wasn't…
you still wanted to come back the next day.
rate: 4/5
xoxo,
yanie
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