assalamualaikum w.b.t...
"is it unfair if kita rasa macam annoyed untuk certain thing yang orang buat kat kita?should we blame ourselves sebab rasa macamtu?rasa macam jahat sangat je nak rasa2 macamtu padahal dia ada je buat baik..cuma certain2 things je dia buat kita tak selesa.."
if you ask me, first thing first, be nice to yourself :)
semua orang ada hak untuk rasa suka or tak suka dengan orang lain..same goes to yourself.. you too, have your own person that you like and don't really comfortable with..tapi tak bermakna when you doesn't like that particular thing yang dia buat means that you memang tak suka dia kan..
so, be nice to yourself..jangan blame diri sendiri sebab tak suka sesuatu perkara tu..as example, kamu dah kawan lama dengan si A..tapi kamu tak suka cara dia bercakap kuat/ tak punctual/ selalu ignore orang lain..tapi on other side dia pun baik..so kamu rasa bersalah sebab kamu macam dah buruk sangka dengan orang tu..
no . don't feel like that..kamu ada hak untuk rasa macamtu..why? sebab kamu pun human..and kamu ada level patience, level preference yang berbeza dengan human yang lain..kamu ada rasa tak puas hati, rasa kenapalaa dia ni tak boleh punctual sikit etc..so don't blame yourself and feel that you are the worst person ever sebab rasa macamtu..
again, be kind to yourself too..jangan sebab kamu nak try to see everything nice on other person sampai you deny your own feelings..lepastu stress sorang2 sebab rasa diri sendiri yang salah..cannot macamtu..your mental health pun penting tahu..
to be positive all the time is okay..but not toxic positivity..embrace the facts that dunia ni tak sesempurna yang you expect it to be..and you can't deny the negative side of this world..semua benda ada positive and negative dia kan? same goes dengan your friends..tak semua sempurna..and you no need to feel bad sebab kamu tak dapat deny that negative thing about them..atleast kamu dah nampak banyak positive dia..and you never hate them as a person :*
as long as you still know that someone tu still ada positive point about them then its okay..just don't be selfish by looking only on one side..look on both :)
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same goes when we turn the table on other's perspektif pulak..we can't expect everyone to like us..mungkin among those yang kita consider rapat pun akan ada yang tak selesa or tak puas hati dengan kita..but they hide the words..
everyone have their own right on their feelings..being someone that you
feel 'nice enough' doesn't means that you can't be disliked..
sometimes kita mungkin ask, "why am i so nice to others but others not doing the same for me"
tanpa sedar, we actually might only do the 'nice thing' in front of others dengan harapan orang lain pun do the same..but that's cannot be done..dont allow yourself to float dengan harapan yang orang lain akan do the same kindness that you did..mungkin ada orang tak suka pun that 'kindness'..so indirectly dia jadi tak selesa dengan kamu..
it's the other people's right either to like us or not..diorang pun mungkin ada expectation dorang on us yang mungkin kita tak mampu nak jadi..so bila at one point dia expect us to be like this but we be like that, we not gonna be in their favorite people list..
so be fair for them too..if dia tak suka you, then you turn your back and walk away on opposite side..we can't control perasaan orang lain..but we still can control ours..daripada be selfish to stay and hurt both feelings, lagi baik you walk away and know your worth :) tak kisahla in friendship ke, relationship ke..or any ship :)
"sesungguhnya bagi Rabbmu ada hak yang harus dipenuhi, bagi dirimu juga ada haknya, dan bagi keluargamu juga ada haknya, maka penuhilah masing-masing hak tersebut," - HR Bukhari
**me pun selalu je rasa bersalah bila kadang2 terasa dengan someone..but we align the feelings again dengan rational..perlu ke tak perlu rasa tu..ke kita je yang selfish..if benda tu memang overboard or takde common sense its okay to feel like that once a while :) just jangan menidakkan positive things before and after that feelings :)
**if you can change things to be better, change it..but if you can't change it, accept it 🤗
xoxo,
yanie
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