a shadow

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

I love to be available all the time in peoples life; not as a person, but as a shadow

I don’t always need to be seen, or named, or remembered in bold letters..

I’ve never been drawn to the spotlight, never felt the need to take up space just to prove that I’m there..instead, I find comfort in the in-between - the soft, unnoticed places where presence doesn’t demand recognition..

I love to be available to everyone,

not as a person standing in front of them,

but as a shadow walking beside.

A shadow doesn’t ask to be acknowledged..

It doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t impose, doesn’t insist on being understood..

It simply stays - steady, quiet, constant..

Sometimes, being a shadow means listening more than speaking..it means holding space for someone’s chaos without trying to rearrange it.

It means showing up in the smallest ways - a message, a glance, a silent understanding - and letting that be enough..

There is a kind of love that isn’t loud.

A kind that doesn’t need grand gestures or visible proof..

It exists in the background, in the stillness, in the way you remain even when no one is looking.

And maybe that’s who I’ve become..

Not the voice people remember,

but the presence they felt when things were heavy..

Not the center of the story,

but the quiet line that held it together..

I don’t mind being unseen; more to i love to be unseen..

Because even shadows have their purpose -

they remind you that you are never truly alone 🤍

xoxo,

yanie

end of second journey

 assalamualaikum w.b.t...

finally..after years of journey, the second journey end 🤍

12 years

its not a short period of time..but i still remember the moment when i began my first step into the journey..it was in early 2011 - after sketching a bit here and there of the path i chose to walk on, i told umiabah first..yes, im not making the decision alone by being selfish as some claim..im the one who choose the number..not that im being forced; but neither im forcing my ego..i know its gonna be a long roller coaster journey even before i step into my decision..its not only about the long journey, there will be a lot of sacrifices as well..so, umiabah should be the first to know and say yes..

"umiabah redha tak?"

and that yes, was the biggest thing that gave me strength till date 🤍 in whichever situation, whatever decision i make along the journey as well, no matter how small it seems, those blessings was my strength..as His blessings come with my umiabah's blessings..so that when things got hard and harder, i know i will always have Him, my parents, and my family behind my back..

"He never put u in a path that does not belongs to u"

theres always time that make u kneeled, make u feel like u cant walk anymore..the world seems to be collapsed before ur eyes..but by believing that He always there for u, every steps to get up and started walking again, feels less heavy insyaAllah..always put Him first before everything..talk to Him, ask Him to make it firm for u when ur mind seems miserable and confused..

thankyou Allah, for lending me the strength 🤍

thankyou umiabah, for all those doa 🤍

thankyou my family,  for always believing in me 🤍 

and thankyou my dear self as well, for enduring so much of everything that only He knew and make it till the end 🤍

not everyone need to know the whole story of what u going through..some stories better left untold..enough that He knows..

we all have our own stories..the future is never certain, but as we live in the presence, lets appreciate the moments and never lose faith..

for those who still struggling, believe that your time will come..have faith, you will get through it, insyaAllah

xoxo,

yanie