assalamualaikum w.b.t...
this entry pop out after several time i've been asked on how do we handle our uncomfortable feelings on others..before that, this is just my opinion..i'm no expert in anything nor trying to acah tahu..its all just based on my opinion only :) so its okay if you have different opinion on this..lets share yours on comment section below too :)
last time, there's this one adik came to me and said - akak, macamana kita nak handle rasa sakit hati dengan kawan kita? or macamana nak react if kita ada terasa dengan someone?
as a normal human being, normal la tu untuk kita terasa dengan someone, sakit hati dengan someone, rasa tak puas hati dan sebagainya.. but, how do we react on that? tak suka, tapi still kena hadap, and rasa tu tak hilang-hilang..so, how?
first thing first, dalam dunia ni ada banyak jenis orang - we can't expect everyone to have same mindset with us..so apa kita boleh buat bila encounter moment yang rasa macam yaampunnn boleh tak dia ni get off my sight..
the answer is, tell them .
yes, tell that person what you angry/ dissatisfied on..sebab orang tu mungkin tak sedar yang dia buat something that hurt you..mungkin it is out of their intention..dia rasa benda tu macam nothing pun..tapi you yang rasa its not nothing..so you the one who need to tell them..jangan ignore je macamtu..things wont solve sampai seribu tahun pun if macamtu..
bahkan, if you didn't tell them what did they do wrong, you are the one yang selfish actually - by hoping that you will be understood all the time, by hoping that everyone have same mindset with you..tapi bila orang tak sama mindset with you then you ignore them..
you might end up hurting them back by ignoring them without any clue..sebab orang tu pulak nanti akan terasa with your sudden reaction..
"so what if dia nak terasa?lantak la ."
nope..that kind of attitude also wont solve anything..if you end up hurting them back, so apa beza you dengan dia?takde beza pun la kan?sama jela, both hurting others unintentionally..so what make you different untuk not being hurt?you pun deserve to be hurt la macamtu :) dia pun boleh 'lantak la' you too :)
thats why, normalize telling people what did they do wrong..just bagitau elok-elok without hurting..and normal person can accept that..unless you tengking dia..
"weh, sorry, tapi aku actually terasa dengan kau..sebab kau buat aku rasa macam tunggul kat situ,"
"it's kinda rude for me i think,"
"aku tak rasa apa kau cakap tu patut..sebab it hurts me,"
as simple as that :)
soal dia nak accept your advice/what you tell them or not tu depends on them la pulak..at this point pulak, kita tak boleh expect orang to memang accept everything that we told them :)
cuma, atleast you already did your job by telling them their wrong..if next second dia buat lagi baru boleh hukum by ignoring or anything..at that point at least they know the reason behind your reaction..takdela you left them hanging without any clues macamtu je :)
be a kind person..but not to be unrespected..
jangan jadi selfish by hoping everyone to understand you without telling them :)
and at the same time jangan jadi selfish by hoping everyone to have same mindset as you too :)
“Maka kamu katakan kepadanya kata-kata yang lemah-lembut, mudah-mudahan dia beringat (sedar) atau takut (kepada Tuhan)” - surah Taha ayat 44
“Serulah ke jalan Tuhanmu Wahai Nabi Muhammad dengan hikmah (kebijaksanaan) dan nasihat pengajaran yang baik, dan berdebatlah dengan mereka dengan cara yang terbaik” - surah an-Nahl ayat 125
xoxo,
yanie
