the care

 assalamualaikum wbt...

as im doing my pt's report, and just talked to my parents..and suddenly the feelings came in again..

once in a while, i question myself - is this exactly what i wanna do? is this exactly what i chose before? this pathway?

the answer to that, always yes and no..

yes, as im living on what i chose..no as its not exactly what i aim for..still working on it tho..

being in healthcare system is something that i always wanted to..to provide care for others, to be able to understand others..and to be able at least on understanding what is the meaning behind every medical term and numbers..

but at another point, taking care others doesn't simultaneously work with taking care of your loved ones..

you working hard to take care of others..while under different roof, your loved ones only able to talk to you through phone calls..

"i love you"

"take care"

the only two words that you can always ensure give to them..everyday if you lucky enough..

is it really what we want?

everytime those thoughts coming through, i will just pray to Him to take care of my loved ones..everytime i see elderly, its silently shredded my heart..it reminds me of my parents as well..

im glad that im still blessed with time to call back home..to know that my parents doing well etc..but at certain time, i just feel helpless and useless..

may one day im able to be near to them, taking care of them from closer distance..

its not me only, i believe..every healthcare workers also feels the same..so, may Allah ease everything for every each of us..

xoxo,

yanie